I didn't realise it was spelled Frogsporn!

I'm about as far removed from being a nature lover as it's possible to be so was really not the ideal candidate to carry out a wildlife rescue the other day. But as I was first on the scene it fell to me to step up.

It happened in our garden pond. Basically I spotted two frogs drowning. As they thrashed about in the water they clung together like the doomed couple from Titantic. I leapt into action (pardon the pun!), grabbed the net we use to clear out pond weed and flicked them to safety on the rockery.

At which point I realised that they hadn't actually been drowning and were clinging together for altogether different reasons than I'd first assumed! I now faced a new dilema. The ardour of the frogs had not been dampened by their high speed journey through the air from the water to the pondside. They remained glued together, oblivious to their surroundings. Which was unfortunate because my three cats now sensed some sport in the offing and were closing in.

I tried clapping (to get their attention - not in an applause way) but had to resort to the net once again. Unfortunately, it's much easier to flick copulating frogs out of a pond than back into one. Eventaully I got the edge of the net under the frogs just as one of the cats made his move. I flicked with all my might. Which, given how high they subsequently flew, probably wasn't strictly necessary. Anyway, they parted mid flight and dropped into the water as individuals. Danger averted.

I do now realise that it was actually unlikely (if not impossible) that a couple of amphibians were drowning but hey, better safe than sorry I say. Mind you, I'm not sure whether the frogs would agree. Somewhere in Beckenham there are two very traumatised frogs who won't be having any more froggie sex any time soon.